Humour:

Chocolate loving
You have permission to kick your man out of bed and replace him with some wicked chocolate this weekend, and we give you reasons why.
It's been said before, chocolate is better than men, in fact, it's even better than sex! We tell you why.

Why...

1. You can GET chocolate.

2. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

3. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

4. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

5. You can have chocolate in front of your mother!

6. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.

7. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

8. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.

9. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.

10. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

11. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

12. Good chocolate is easy to find.

13. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

14. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

15. When you have chocolate, it doesn't wake your neighbours.

16. With chocolate, size doesn't matter.

17. It's enjoyable hard or soft.

18. It doesn't mind if you take your anger out on it.

19. You can enjoy chocolate more than once.

20. It comes already protectively wrapped.

21. You can comparison shop.

22. You can put it away when you've had enough.

23. You always know when to get rid of it.

24. You can return it – satisfaction is guaranteed.

25. It won't take up room in your bed.

26. You never have unwanted chocolate chasing you around.

27. You know what the extra weight is from.

28. It won't get jealous if you pick up another one.

29. You don't have to change the sheets if you have it in bed.

30. It's easier to find in a grocery store.

So go on, have that extra block of chocolate this weekend and worry about the consequences later!

Got any of your own reasons why chocolate is a much better companion than a man?